Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just found puke in my bra..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
