I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
