I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
