Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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