I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I think my moral compass just broke
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
