sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
