someone get that fucking seahorse.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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