They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
