she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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