I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
