Will you blow on my dice?
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
