Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
