sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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