we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
