:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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