Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
