I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
