Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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