is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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