I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
