I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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