My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I stole a fireplace last night.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
