$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize