the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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