Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
