can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
