he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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