she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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