God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
