So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
