Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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