Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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