Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
