I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think i peed on brittanys purse
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
