so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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