Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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