...so i touched it.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
