Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
