Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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