I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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