Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize