Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
