Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
