I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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