Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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