Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
