I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
