i was born a porn star she said
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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