i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
