I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
