Fuck appropriateness.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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