Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
