I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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