Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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