My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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