You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
