shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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