The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
