..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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