i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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