why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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