More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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