At least make sure they are 18
Why
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
too bad you live with your parents still
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
