You were right. It hurts to walk today.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
