She said her name was "party"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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