I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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