My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
