So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
