Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
