I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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