Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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