I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
