She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
