i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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