we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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