I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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