Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
