hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
