So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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